Anonymous said: What is your favorite fiction book?

Hi, anon!

I got this as a birthday present from my grandfather on my twelfth birthday—it was my first exposure to Star Wars.

Y’know, there are books you love, some that are life-changing, and then some others that completely turn your mind inside-out, and echo inside your head for more than a decade. This book still continues to influence my philosophies, and more than that, my writing style. How I write now can almost be directly traced back to this book. It’s a 300 page companion book to an otherwise mediocre series, but on its own, a veritable literary masterpiece.


Reblog if you want your followers to anonymously ask you one thing they want to know about you.

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I see around and have even made myself the argument that it made sense to cut that scene because it would be OOC for Jody not to see something wrong. But would it, really? Fans lean a lot on Sam and Jody’s relationship because Sam has vanishingly few emotional connections, but the truth is, Jody…

Exactly. This is why it’s a good decision to cut this scene out—for one, the preceding scene was pretty similar, with Sam voicing his misgivings and Gadreel swooping in before he could find the truth; two, Jody really doesn’t know SamnDean all that well to pick up on anything really untoward or act upon it, and three, she’s meant to be a two episodes/season sort of character, who can’t really follow through on her knowledge in the next episode. This scene wouldn’t have had any purpose beyond letting us know that Gadreel is actively preventing Sam from knowing the truth and that Sam was getting suspicious—but this was already well established by the previous scene.


Hayley and Elijah speech parallels 1x11 and 1x18- requested by anon

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Rock and a Hard Place (9x08) deleted scene (video)

This is both incredibly creepy and heartbreaking. This seems like this was set after the very last scene of the episode—and there’s Sam, disturbed and thoroughly unconvinced by his brother’s reassurances, caught between feeling like he’s inherently WRONG and that there’s something important that Dean’s keeping from him. It’s difficult to say if he would’ve followed through with his confession to Jody—their history is too tangled, especially for someone like Jody, who thinks of it as a special bond. Sam would’ve probably trailed off anyway.

But in comes Gadreel, trying Sam on for size—which would make this the first time he’s pretended to be Sam to someone else—smiling that awkward smile but letting it linger for a second too long, tilting his head, and it’s all sick, sick, sick.



do you ever cook something in the microwave but it’s still really cold in the middle and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callous and casual destruction

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Anonymous said: Do you /hate/ Dean?

Hi, anon.

The honest answer is that I don’t. I hate several characters in several media, virulently and with great passion, and I try to avoid talking about them as much as possible. I’m here to unwind and talk about things that interest me, not rant without purpose.

I think Dean is a tremendously well-crafted character. I love to talk about him and his relationships and the things that made him what he is now, and about the things he will continue to shape and change with his behaviour. I’ve written tons of fic from his perspective (which, in my case, is a better gauge of my interest in a character than angry meta). What really irks me is how fandom perceives him: fanon Dean is a different creature from canon Dean. I hate how fandom accepts what he says without critical thought; how nobody seems to consider him the unreliable narrator that he is. I hate that his abusive dynamic with Sam is coddled and romanticised; I find the kind of victim-blaming that his defence engenders to be nauseating. I try to push back against this as much as I can, and in doing this, I may be harsh, or mean, or just plain passive-aggressive, but trust me on this: I want my point to be heard. Dean believes a lot of things about himself that are completely understandable and equally untrue. That’s okay—that’s good characterisation. I just dislike the idea of fandom buying into it just as wholeheartedly.

I’d also like to point out the distinction between ‘criticism’ and ‘hate’ here. Yes, I think Dean was wrong and terrible to have locked his brother in a cage and left him to rot at the end of s4. However, this isn’t an attempt to “vilify” him (like SPN is a show where being a villain means you are unloved or underappreciated). The show continues to make the point over and over again that the SamnDean relationship is toxic and that Dean is an incredibly damaged person who displaces that damage onto Sam in increasingly horrific ways; that what Dean wants as a “little brother” and what Sam actually is are two different things; that Dean appreciates being in charge of a unit where he calls the shots and resents even the smallest change; that horrible patterns tend to repeat themselves, and can’t be fixed by a couple of roadside heart-to-hearts, or big, desperate, bombastic speeches. As the show has become more and more blatant about this (Carver and his anvils, I swear), there are more and more people ready to disregard whole chunks of the narrative because it doesn’t match up to what they think SamnDean is—never mind that s6+ is demonstrably a smooth continuation of the arc that started in s1. This irritates me as well (“the writers suck because I refuse to accept Dean as anything other than a put-upon woobie who loves his ungrateful brother too much!”).

There was a time when I was really disillusioned with the show myself, anon (right around the latter half of s7, I think). I’d spent several years in fandom at that time, and I had a tough time making the connections between the SamnDean I read about and discussed in fandom and the SamnDean I saw on the screen. As the disconnect grew stronger, so did my frustration. I didn’t dare criticise the dynamic itself for the fear of committing some great taboo, of spewing “hate”, so I figured the problem couldn’t possibly be in how we interpreted the writing and must the writing itself. I quit fandom (briefly), closed up shop on LJ. It was only later that I realised that my actual problem isn’t with the show itself—that I realised what a magnificent arc the SamnDean story truly is. It was then that I was able to put out my inchoate “bad feelings” into words that made sense, and I began to enjoy SPN so much more than I ever did.

So, yeah. Tl;dr—Being sceptical of Dean’s actions and refusing to accept everything he says on face-value, i.e., accepting that he’s actually a pretty complicated character in his own right =/= Hate.



S10 Countdown: 45 days - or
The one in which Sam and death meet to many times - SN 03x11

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Anonymous said: You write whinge when you mean whine, and it annoys me a bit.

Hi, anon!

I do, in fact, mean “whinge”.

I realise that tumblr is America-centric (or your world-view, or tolerance, or whichever) but I grew up using British English, and have spent several years blogging cricket and writing on English/Australian cricket forums. I tend to use English/Australian slang more often than not.

I don’t even use the word all that often here though…?